The missis in the workshop.

Post by **polo2k** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 2:48 am

Hi all.

Im one of those guys who can go out to the garage and keep my self busy for weeks and weeks on end.
My missis ... isnt.
Right now Mona is off the road having lots done under the bonnet but once shes on the road there will be another project, no doubt! Once Mona is on the road we will obviously be able to spend time together driving her (she doesnt know but im going to add her to the insurance and then surprise her by throwing her the keys and asking her to drive where-ever she wants [Note to self: stay away from cliffs!])
My question is;
How can I get my missis into the garage? Im not expecting to wake up one day and shes out there welding and spraying, however since I spend so much time out there I would love her to be a part of it.
I refuse to give her menial tasks like sweeping and fetching drinks but I do want her to be involved and feel the pride you get when everything goes right.

Ive tried sitting next to her and pointing to show pics trying to find out which ones she likes but nothing seems to catch her eye to try and find out if there is anything she would strive for.
I dont want people thinking that this is a desperate cry for someone to step in and save my relationship, pretty much the opposite, I want this hobby to be somthing we can both enjoy

Help

Post by **LouiseM** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 5:56 am

Just my opinion, but from your posting you seem more interested in your car than your wife

You say that you spend weeks on end in the garage, once this car is finished you'll start another project, and you're on the internet at 4 in the morning looking at a Morris Minor site

Your posting is all about what you want. Have you thought about what your wife wants?

Just a suggestion but have you thought of spending a bit more time with your wife or getting involved in any of her interests? Or perhaps find something that you are both interested in and can do together?

She doesn't seem to be interested in Minors so to "surprise her" by adding her to the insurance and throwing her the keys might not be the type of surprise she wants. It will be like the equivalent of buying her a set of saucepans for Christmas!

Post by **Pyoor_Kate** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:04 am

*Agrees with Louise*

My partners have variously been interested or not in cars, those who weren't, to be honest, just weren't. And they put up with my fascination with classics...but never got their hands dirty. Instead we found other things to share and enjoy, just meant that I spent less time lurking in the garage.

Thankfully, my fiance is; while she doesn't know much about mechanical stuff, she's interested, unfortunately I'm a lousy teacher. I'm so used to working by myself that when she offers to help she often gets jobs that she can just 'do' without me having to explain much. Which isn't really what I want to offer her, but to be fair, we're a both bit short on time.

I have to say, though. She got the windscreen washers on the DAF working when I'd got bored and headed off to do another job, and we'd've not got through the MOT without 'em

Post by **paulhumphries** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:22 am

My wife and I are completley different.
No way would she ever consider getting her hands dirty unless I asked and then it'd have to be essential.
We've been together for 34 years so I think that shows you don't have to share hobbies to have a sucessful relationship.
In fact a lot of the time my wife prefers me to be outside / out of her way (we are both early retired)

Paul Humphries

Post by **beechford** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:47 pm

we just clocked over 45yrs and agree with Paul maybe because they know where we are and not playing up when we;re playing cars.

Post by **grumpygrandad** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 1:16 pm

beechford wrote:we just clocked over 45yrs and agree with Paul maybe because they know where we are and not playing up when we;re playing cars.

my wife has a mild interest in my morris BUT if i want a hand she is always there when i ask i have several mates with classic cars who come fairly regular to work on them she always keeps us toped up with tea coffee,and yes she does have a moan sometimes,but after 44 years , she knows ther will be no change in what i do, due to poor health i am oftens gratfull to her for her input , she does enjoy a ride out in the morris which is in use every day, my grand children get very put out if i dont collect them from school in her, hope they will keep up the interest as they get older, grumpy grandad

Post by **Lou** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 1:39 pm

Have you tried discussing it with her? Showing her this thread might be a good place to start, then listen to what she has to say...

Post by **polo2k** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 2:20 pm

I think thats probably going to be the best idea.
Not sure if I put everything across as clearly as I could have and that may have led to a few crossed wires.

I think ill have a chat with her and take it from there.

Thank you for your input

Post by **rv8** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:50 pm

missus-garage. dont mix these words in the same sentence

Post by **ASL642** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:28 pm

Speaking from the "Missus" side of the bed/settee! I'm the nutter who bought the first car and then added 4 more! I think my poor husband decided that in the interests of getting all the bolts properly tightened he'd better join in, so its a toss up who sometimes gets the dirtiest although I must admit hes now taken on the welding and heavy work whilst I've taken on the interiors - a bit cleaner - but not always!

Post by **les** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:48 pm

When I read the title of this topic I thought it was going to be a plea to get her out-----not in!!

Post by **LouiseM** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:34 pm

Not sure if I put everything across as clearly as I could have and that may have led to a few crossed wires.

Well your initial posting seemed pretty clear. I don't think there were any crossed wires

I think ill have a chat with her and take it from there.

Just a tip, but communication is quite useful in a relationship

Perhaps talk to your wife first in future rather than post details on the internet. How would she feel if she read your post and found that you were discussing her with a bunch of strangers?

Post by **MGFmad** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:03 am

An easy answer to this thread - get a telly in the garage that can show East Enders and Coronation Street

Post by **Kevin** » Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:14 am

Ash you must remember that lots of people have no interest in cars other than its a form of transport and hobbies and interests can be a very personal thing that wives/partners couldnt care less about.
You need to ask her what her interests are or she may be one of those people that find their job so demanding that when they get home all they want to do is put their feet up I know I have days like that when the sofa is more appealing than the garage.

Post by **woodiesenfrance** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 12:31 pm

Oh dear, this is a potentially dangerous topic!
I prefer not to mess about with engines, welding and whatever but I have several girlfriends who enjoy it. It's not really a sexist issue. It's to do with enjoying your spare time. My husband will happily spend hours fiddling around with recalcitrant bits of old cars or motorbikes, whereas I prefer to be out dog walking, or to spend my evenings dancing. (Husband does dog-walking but NEVER dancing).
Spenidng all your free time together is not a good idea - especially if, like me, you work with your other half!

Post by **ASL642** » Fri Jul 25, 2008 1:04 pm

Why not ask her if shed like to go with you to a rally? She could then meet other morris owners and their partners - it may help bridge the gap - choose a rally where there is something else going on as well like a country show - best of both worlds.